Kon’nichiwa!
As I walk around into nature here in Sapporo, I cannot help but see the striking similarities between the many delectable locations of India. One such place where my heart lies – a place of love, healing and beauty – is Kashmir. Today, I want to dedicate this article to Kashmir in its glorious uniqueness of beauty and culture, and to my late uncle, who loved cooking the Kashmiri dishes.
Anyone in love with Kashmir will know this famous lines:
Agar firdaus bar ru-ye zamin ast
Hamin ast-o hamin ast-o hamin ast
If there is heaven on earth
It is this, it is this, it is this!
I loved the bollywood movie ‘Fitoor’ – the adaptation of another of my favourite the classic ‘Great Expectations’ by Charles Dickens – which has shown the glory and misery of Kashmir beautifully. ‘Any Indian, who hears Kashmir is instantly reminded of the most handsome and heart-throb late Shammi Kapoor and the gorgeous Sharmila Tagore in the movie ‘Kashmir ki Kali’ and immediately hymn the song ‘yeh chand sa roshan chehra”. Here is a tribute to the amazing Mohammad Rafi ji
Both in Sapporo and Kashmir, I deeply feel refreshed, and rejuvenated by the natural beauty of the place. Let me just show you a little glimpse of the similarities I was talking about.
This is Kashmiri valley with the famous houseboats, numerous heritage gardens, flower festivals, especially tulips, cherries, almond blossoms (yes !), Chinar trees and mountain views to die for.
This is a glimpse of Sapporo. It’s interesting, right? So similar! Like I said it’s just the tickle to see the similarities. I have realised people from similar geographical spaces tend to have similar personalities. For example the mountain people ‘pahadis’ – whether in Kashmir, Uttarakhand, Nepal, Sikkim, Bhutan or Hokkaido, Alps inter alia – are very humble, deeply connected to and appreciative of nature and its enormity, very welcoming, respecting the natural ingredients, and so loving.
Let me now elaborate on my exposure to Kashmir through the interaction with my Kashmiri Mom.
Meeting Yasmeen Naqash – indeed my Kashmir ki Kali – Baji (about whom you might have read in my Mother’s day special article – https://saachibaat.com/lifestyle/a-tribute-to-the-unsung-ma/), was one of the most beautiful, heart-touching and deep learning experiences for me because she opened the beautiful Kashmiri culture to me in ways that I would have never been able to see. I guess that’s why a Buddhist philosopher Dr. Daisaku Ikeda says, “Make an effort to meet with people. Interaction with others opens up new and exciting possibilities. Meeting people stimulates our minds, gives us energy, leads to more new encounters and infinitely expands our life and our world.” I am reminded of getting a balanced view of my other love – Italy, when my best friend and I engaged in a lively dialogue with our well-educated, well-read and extremely patriotic and passionate taxi driver, who told us how tourism had both positive and deeply disruptive effects on the lives of the locals.
This is Yasmeen Naqash, a beautiful, stylish, formidable woman with a kind heart but a straight-forward attitude worthy of queenly respect, fear and love. She definitely keeps true to the name.
‘Yasmeen’ means Jasmin flower and has origins in French, persian and Arabic languages. These tiny little flowers are so beautiful, fragrant and edible. As a culinary enthusiast, I can’t wonder enough on how much nature has to offer us to sustain, heal and appreciate. Also, Jasmine is widely popular in culinary and beauty worlds as Jasmine tea, jasmine rice, deserts, essence, beautiful garnish and innumerous beauty products. But I learnt about it, when very cutely my Baji showed me Jasmine flowers in Shalimar Bagh in Kashmir and said, “ that’s me”. Like I said, Baji introduced me to a whole new world of Kashmiri women yet a woman who has been fighting back the society in her own right.
Born into a traditional Kashmiri family, she was raised to be religious, cultured and extremely feminine. But the rebel as she is, she wanted to be strong, play, be boisterous and study. She was very good at it. Her teachers thoroughly supported her and were shocked enough to intervene when her marriage was fixed when so young. Baji, in her innocence, said she slept through her own wedding, and only learnt the Indian traditional ways of cooking, caring for family or being a wife in her own time. But the excellence in her drove her to work extra hard, take responsibility for a large royal 36 room household of the Naqashs – well respected and honourable family of Kashmir, known for the famous Naqashi work.
She is worth admiration because of the way she asserts being a woman at home and outside. Sometimes, she reminisces about the painful days, when she felt she had no control over her life as a young woman and had no way to assert herself. She knows and sometimes regrets that she could have chosen different paths in education, life and in profession. Most inspiring for me was when she related the stories about Kashmir in deep disorder, curfew and repressive military vigilance. She mentioned that privacy was not respected at all and anytime anyone could come into their homes for inspection. Unfortunately, this family also saw the death of their grandmother, who was accidently fired while closing their home window. Shocking? Yes, it is. I called Baji formidable because she, like many of the Kashmiri women, has experienced such fear, intrusion and pain just to be able to raise her family. But unlike most Kashmiri shy women, her fearlessness, courage and mindfulness kept her safe and she was able to make the inspection team feel welcome, offer tea and also share how she doesn’t like being in such an environment to the senior army officer. The officier, I believe, became friendly and protective and respectful of her locality, Kashmiri people and culture in years to come. I felt this was astonishing for a naive, young mother to have the heart of a lion and courageously build peace through friendship and dialogue.
Imagine living in a fear-filled environment, where you are not sure when one of your family members are fired at, abducted with or without reason, not knowing if your husband, relatives and friends will be back after leaving for work in the morning or if she or her children will be safe. I had visited Kashmir when there was supposedly violence was on in full swing. Believe me, we need to truly analyse what the media portrays about a place. Locals are nostalgic about the beauty and peace of the place, co-existence of humble, nature-loving and caring neighbours whatever backgrounds – social, religious or otherwise they belonged to. I am sure most people know that the Yatras have their best routes here for years, locals, tourists – foreign and domestic, and yatris have faced no issues until the selfish and the ignorant nudge in the garb of politics. But most times, I see a strong woman who is trying to assert her being a woman surviving the realities of life – and quite an abnormal one. She is the unsung heroine! Doesn’t she remind us of the story of most of our mothers, maybe in a different setting, different challenges but unthanked and unsung heroines.
Oh let’s talk about Baji as a personality ! I find her so beautiful and she knows how to maintain herself and her environment in ways that could put all youngsters to shame! It’s only after 45 years that she is taking support in maintaining her mansion in Kashmir. Her routine is baffling,she wakes up and cleans every creak and corner of her house until dust-free and spotless, prepares awesome meals and tends other affairs – home, business and a very large extended family. And sets aside her ‘me-time’. Laughing uncontrolling once, we talked about the time when her two sons as teenagers were extremely embarrassed to take her on their bikes because people thought she was their girlfriend. And the other ladies would be envious because she looked much younger and model-like. Well! I can’t deny it. I was so embarrassed to see her look stunning.
When we were in Nishant Bagh for an outing, foreigners asked to take photographs with her thinking she was an actress.
She dresses up for herself saying ‘har insaan ko apne aap mein khubsoorti dekhni chahiye’ (everyone should recognise their own beauty). She mentioned that I need to be happy and feel good. She showed me the clothes she designed herself by researching out designs she liked and materials she learnt about. She loves shopping in Delhi and Qatar, where all shopkeepers swear by her not being a typical kashmiri woman. Her personality, choices, fashion-sense and outspokenness, has made her a subject of great admiration and envious attack in her convervative Kashmiri society simultaneously. She says it’s important to respect culture and traditions but it is also important to be oneself, especially as a woman. I was so inspired by her thoughts, when she mentioned about the perils of Kashmiri women, raised to be wives. She mentioned that women should be raised as women, with their own dreams, likes and dislikes and own personality. They should be raised to choose their own paths and be progressive. Also, she is known to be outspoken, fighting against injustices in the family and fighting for couples, who are in love but facing objections within the family.
We connected over our love for the color Black and being rebels. Prior to meeting her, I was made fearful of her extreme need for order, cleanliness, and strictness. I had heard that she doesn’t allow people into her life. Well! Guess it’s me and her being just magnetic personalities to connect immediately and become connected for life. She is Baji – a sister in a mother’s garb. We argue a lot but love each other more. We also connected due to our intensities to love, care and assert ourselves. Strong women who care deeply for each other.
I am inspired by the way she cares for all the people. She loves her sons but has brought them up to be very elegant, humble and strong men, who are deeply caring and understand their responsibilities as humans rather than men. Like I mentioned, they can put any one to shame with their capacity to stay organised, clean and maintain outside and home. Yes, she is definitely outspoken, sometimes to the point of being direct enough to make one feel the pain of truth. However, her heart is clear and child-like. Innocent and wild. She loves the simplest things in life but also likes to fly high. She loves old bollywood songs and it’s ever-present as she goes through her day. She likes being the object of attention and admiration but also is the brain working constantly behind the scenes to ensure her family doesn’t face any difficulty. She is die-hard health-conscious but loves her sohan halwa. Oh don’t get her started with filmfare gossip. She will speak about the lives of celebrities with such animation that you would wonder if she knows them personally. She opens up gradually but trusts a lot, she is feared but is someone who is expressive of her needs, for who are ready to listen. She is so ready to learn and she is learning new things everyday and passionately. Her recent obsession was with cakes. Oh so sinful and decadent! :). Also, I loved learning about Kashmiri culture and cuisine from her. I don’t think I would have got a better teacher because with the food, the history of it, the authenticity and her own stories with the dishes make the food even more hearty.
My strong recommendation to you all, if you want to learn about culture is, not to read just books and have an intellectual engagement with it, but to be and find a passionate, patriotic and reflective person, who will engage with their life to lovingly and enthusiastically take you to a journey with them into culture, music, art, food. As Dr. Ikeda mentions, “There is no true joy in a life lived closed up in the little shell of the self. When you take one step to reach out to people, when you meet with others and share their thoughts and sufferings, infinite compassion and wisdom well up within your heart. Your life is transformed”
References
India Mall Holidays. (2017). Tulip Flower Festival of Kashmir. India Mall. https://www.indiaholidaymall.com/blog/articles/tulip-flower-festival-of-kashmir
Shafi, M. (2019). Almond Flowers Bloom in Kashmir, Offers a Visual Treat. News 18. https://www.news18.com/photogallery/india/almond-flowers-bloom-in-kashmir-offers-a-visual-treat-2080737.html
YouTube. (n.d.). Mohammed Rafi – Yeh Chaand Sa Roshan Chehra.wmv. 100 Years Of Music In Indian Cinema Cd 8.
https://www.daisakuikeda.org/sub/quotations/theme/human-relationships.html
https://scroll.in/article/942273/who-really-wrote-the-lines-if-there-is-paradise-on-earth-it-is-this-it-is-this-it-is-this
 |
Nilima Sil, Educator, NGO Professional, Foodie & Food Enthusiast, Traveler, Dance Enthusiast Sapporo, Japan |
