At some point, we have all been guilty of asking – ‘How do I find my perfect partner?’ ‘How do I know this person is right for me?’ and the common response being, ‘You will know when you know.’ But how would one know without knowing what to look for? Safe to say the answer is never simple and the quest is even harder.
In account of this and ahead of Valentine’s Day, Tara Maria, relationship expert at Aisle – India’s leading high intent dating app, shares four attributes to look for in your partner that will help you determine whether or not someone has the qualities to go the distance.
The idea of finding a “perfect partner” is passe.
Tara says, “We are all flawed and that’s what makes us interesting”. Here are some tips from her, for people looking for a partner.
Commitment
A relationship is a two-way street where each party must have the determination and intent to make it work. The biggest mistake we make early on in a relationship is to assume the other person’s intent, which sometimes leads to heartbreak.
To avoid this, before you decide to become exclusive, discuss your intentions with your prospective partner and see where the both of you stand. Ask them questions about their core values and belief systems, and their thoughts on family, future, marriage, gender roles and parenting. Their commitment to making this relationship work is going to form the foundation of your relationship and act as a blanket on tough days in the partnership.
Mutual Respect
Respect in a relationship means that you accept somebody for who they are, even when they are different from you and you don’t necessarily agree with them.
A respectful partnership will make you feel safe. So, make sure your partner is someone who respects your personality, encourages your ambitions, your choices and beliefs, as well as your circle of family and friends.
Shared Interests
When you share common interests with someone you spend time learning and exploring those interests and growing together as a couple. It allows you to have fun, build relationship rituals and helps you bond.
Discuss your interests, passion, hobbies etc to help you find things in common with each other. However, you may or may not have a lot in common and that’s okay. What’s necessary is your ability and willingness to fit into each other’s scheme of things.
Financial Stability
When you first start dating someone financial stability may rank low on your list but the longer you date the more important financial security and compatibility becomes. As uncomfortable as the topic of money can be, it is extremely important to have this conversation with your partner and look for potential red flags.
To get you started here are a few conversation starters – disclose each other’s financial situation, share what your financial goals are, where do you want to invest, and how are you going to combine finances. In a long-term relationship, eventually, your financial decisions are going to affect each other, hence it’s easier to be with someone who understands your background and lifestyle.
