Kon’nichiwa!
I remember proudly walking about the LSR campus in Delhi wearing my black sweatshirt with the following words on it “Cogito, ergo sum.” – “I think therefore I am” written by the famous French Philosopher René Descartes. I will today take these words in the literal sense to share that ‘my mother is, therefore I am’. I mean it in every context conceivable. Without my parents, especially my mother to convert me into a human form, bearing me for 9 months and nurturing me, and then nurturing and loving me forever, I don’t know if I could exist and live my life (instead of dying each day hopelessly).
As a Bengali woman born in a small town of Dotma, where she fought against all odds, studied, dreamt and enjoyed her childhood with 7 sisters and 2 brothers, my mother is a masterpiece. She is loved by all for her care, love and amazing food, yet feared by all working for her for professionalism, strong follow-up and energy to work. From morning till midnight her brain is constantly working – her organizational skills, management skills and execution of tasks and people skills are just outstanding. She works with people in a gentle but firm manner thus she is respected, and never denied a request or task. She has a deep sense of social responsibility and sustainability. All the consumers of her service are extremely satisfied with the high quality and innovation, Yes, my mother wears the pants in the family (well I find this phrase extremely sexist) so changing it to say – she is the entrepreneur, CEO and die-hard professional; No, she is not a working professional in the sense the world understands. But she does the hardest and most strenuous job in the world – Being a Grandma, Mother and care-giver (apart from being the expected ideal daughter, sister, wife, and most importantly just being a woman in the difficult Indian context).
People are surprised when they hear that I speak to her every day. Well! I have to speak to her. Without her my life would be quite lost to be honest. She is my best friend and best critic, she is my worst enemy and the best guide, she is a concerned mother and a helpless child at the same time. I need her as much as she needs me as I am the antithesis to her life. She is Durga while I am Kali, she is love while I am her strength, she is mine while I am hers – we are different sides of the same coin facing different generations and life-choices.
I love my mother. I cannot be without her – in body and soul. I love you MA!
Her love has taught me to be loving, caring and motherly too. I have been able to meet many mothers, who have contributed significantly in my life. A mother isn’t someone who just births you, but someone who nurtures you and plays a significant role in your life. I am so blessed to have such amazing and inspiring people who have deeply touched and contributed to my life.
A Deep Tribute to My Other Moms
Lulu Amchung as I lovingly call her is the ideal woman in my life – a great mix of the ying-yang, style, tradition-modern. She is an extremely concerned sister to my dad, an expert and super animated partner in cooking crimes with my mother, and a witty wit to my uncle. She showered such care and love not only as an aunt but a guardian, guide and inspiration to me throughout my life.
We are definitely big foodies and crazy cleanliness freaks. We love making and eating heartily our traditional dishes, and exchange beauty hacks. She is my mom, sister and friend and much more.
I cannot express in words the way she has influenced me through her strength, her undefeated self through the many life’s challenges and her wonderful care.
Mathur Aunty I love to call her. I deeply appreciate the magnetic personality you have and whenever you enter the room, there is so much joy, positivity and care. Your love and care nurtured me in the darkest moments of my life and helped me build a strong inner self. I have loved our cooking together, having amazing meals together and of course the fun we had together planning hundreds of events and programs together.
Your capacity for love and care is something that has been experienced by so many Buddhist members too. I don’t know how many people have been encouraged by your efforts and love. We love you!
I lovingly call her Katayama San and she is an inspiringly caring and loving person, who shares my love of traveling, cooking and talking about different global cultures. Before moving to Japan, when I visited as a tourist, I explored such amazing places of Hokkaido like Furano, Astuta, Shakotan with her and did the fantastic activities of cherry picking, eating the famous stuff around Hokkaido and talking about amazing facts of the place.
She is a great cultural ambassador, teacher and such a spirited woman, who has battled many challenges in life to inspire many. I love my time with her every time. She speaks to me weekly about life and making amazing home-made Japanese food.
She is truly a good mix of a mother, guide and friend to me here in Japan.
T as I call her lovingly is the support system, who has healed me deeply. I met her professionally to do a Dance Movement therapy Course with this amazing and inspirational pioneer and astonishingly humble human being. I guess that’s why she became such an important part of my life, who is always there for me whenever my life needs her. She is there grooming and nurturing me personally and professionally deeply. Her love, care, deep concern and strict professional is so magnetic. She is a celebrity with an intense capacity to love and connect deeply with people. I have been able to overcome many emotional ups and downs because of her non-judgmental and deeply loving nature. I love you deeply and am blessed to have you as such a strong role model in my life.
‘Baji’ – sister in Kashmir is my dear and lovely mom in Kashmir. She is so beautiful and so kind. I connected instantly with her and she became the connection that will be there for me for life. She is a youthful soul full of life, love and adventure. She loves to travel, shop and eat amazing food. She taught me the true meaning of cleanliness and feminism at home in the way she trained her sons to be super clean, homely, organized and strong in character, the difference between just being clean and ‘pakizki’(purity and knowing how to be clean in habits) Her heart connection with me goes beyond the mere motherly care, it is mutual, it is endearing and enduring. It is something that symbiotically builds into each other and flows into each other. She has showered her love on me and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. We cried on each other’s shoulders, comforted each other and shared so many secrets. I have learnt the wonderful Kashmiri dishes from her and also learnt to be a person with simplicity in the heart and adventure in soul and spirit. I love you Baji so much. Thank you for loving me so much.
My mother in Japan is this amazingly hard-working and humble Inoshita mama. I call her Okasan. Her life is very active. She has inspired me to learn amazing Japanese cooking. Her fingers create magic even with the simplest of ingredients and I am certainly addicted to her cooking. Her restaurant Doricome here is an example of how a woman can multitask with excellence balancing amazing adventurous life, raising amazing children and delivering happiness through food. She has also inspired me to volunteer into the Buddhist organization to deliver the newspaper – Seikyo Simbun, which brings encouragement to many members here. She has been doing it for the last 25 years and quietly overcoming all challenges, raising a huge family and also being fun, caring and loving. She has cared till now and deeply cares for my brother and me here. 9 May is mother’s day here and I will celebrate it with her.
Last but not the least the person who is also responsible for me is able to contribute this article to this amazing news portal – Meenakshi maam. I guess I will be writing about her many many times. My days in LSR become so joyful, inspirational and impactful due to my dear Mee-mam. I will repeat this many times. She is the role model and ideal teacher anyone should have in their lives. Her life and her care are such that she knows my family, my challenges, and my life deeply without even meeting my family or being a daily part of my life.
My professional achievements as a student (I was a Delhi University ranker), athlete and para-sport volunteers (she created a deep sense of empathy and knowledge in me), National Cadet corps cadet (I represented India as an ambassador to the United Kingdom), and awardee in LSR.
All because she supported me thoroughly on a day-to-day basis in LSR and fought for me, stood for me. She turned me – a simpleton from Siliguri into a Global citizen.
What it means to “live life to the fullest”
by my dear friend Kanupriya Maheshwari (Mundra) from St. Joseph’s High School, Matigara!
A very common saying and when we were young it was written on our Scrapbooks by our near and dear ones. Did we really follow these words and have we really done it? I know while you are reading these each one of us must be saying to our soul “NO”. What if I say I have observed someone living it, even if, for a few years? I have observed her but truly speaking even though I was constantly around her I still haven’t achieved the MANTRA.
I am talking about none other than the one who brought me to this world and made me who I am. My ideologies, belief and strength are all because of her, my MOM.
26th Feb 1996 she collapsed while I laughed at her thinking, she still had the hangover of the dance she had recently performed. It took me a few minutes to realize that something had happened when my grandmother shouted out in panic. Within a few minutes of the ambulance, people were around too much of a commotion. The last thing I knew was I was sitting in the car along with my sibling and we were asked to stay over at our aunt’s place. She was carried in the stretcher “have I lost you?” That was the only thing running over the first ever sleepless night since I was not even updated on what was the scenario. Next day I visited the hospital and there I saw her million-dollar smile, bright and beautiful as she was. We sat chatting and out of the blue I discovered my mom had a memory loss 24hrs nothing she recalled and as a child I crossed my fingers she recognized me. Thank God!
My grandfather wanted to be sure that everything was fine. She was taken to Madras (Chennai) for her further checkup and after multiple tests she was diagnosed with Left Frontal Lobe Brain Cancer. A rare case in those years she was in the First Stage normally people were aware in those years when they reached the Final Stage. 7th March she was operated on but a day prior to it when I was running around the corridor of this big hospital Apollo Greams Road, I happened to overhear a conversation between my grandfather and the doctor. The words still echo inside my head, “she might be alive for 6 days, 6 months or 6 years. She might lose her memory or speech.” My grandfather just asked if we have any other alternative. When the doctor shook his head all he did was smile and say I have faith in you. The operation was a success but she was in a dark room for a month. No light, just my grandparents and papa were allowed to stay for a little while. She screamed in pain and cried. We stood helplessly in the corridor and yearned to see her once again. Every day was the same. She was fighting her own battle and while we waited to hug her. One fine morning we received a message on the pager from her “it’s a beautiful sunny day” we rushed from our guest house to the hospital. As we entered her room, we could see our Mom sitting weak, pale and her hair was gone. A shock she had bandages all around and still burning hot but we touched her and knew she was right in front of us.
We came back and were ready for our normal lives minus MOM and DAD. Papa stayed back with mom while she underwent different treatments and medical procedures, we stayed with our grandparents. After a long wait we visited her again during our summer break. While going along with her for treatments we saw she was becoming weak and thin. Her radiations were going on. We hardly spoke to her and she would rest most of the time. After a week’s stay, we came back. Diwali was around the corner and my MOM-DAD came back home. We were glad to see them and mom was in her new avatar boy cut hair later we discovered it was a wig. Mom was back but it wasn’t the same. She used to have dozens of medicines and was weak. She puked around and at times would be restless with her headaches. Mom had never taken a medicine earlier and there she was struggling.
Every 6 months she was called for her checkups and while the first year went fine. 1997 I lost my grandfather and it was a huge loss. He was the pillar of strength of our family. My dad became busier and while mom tried to live as normal as she could. She wasn’t aware she had Cancer. My dad did his best and all treatments were done. 1998 it came back once again; radiation was suggested and then again, she was at Chennai for 2 months.
We all say sometimes when you are going through a rough patch in your life whether financial crisis or emotional ones God does give you a ray of hope. An announcement least expected my mom was pregnant, soon we welcomed our baby sister in the year 1999. We forgot all our sufferings seeing her smile and growing. Mom was thinking she was given a second life where all her sufferings were gone and she lived in her own kingdom of dreams unaware of what black clouds surrounded her world. Early 2002 brought in nightmares and awareness to mom that she was a cancer patient. The word “C” was not even taken around her, as her kids were aware in the year 2000 what she exactly suffered from and became her shield.
Thankfully on those days we didn’t have 4G or else she would have lost hope soon. Sometimes too much information kills our fighting spirit and soon it differs from person to person. Cancer is just not for the person who is suffering from it rather the entire family is bearing its consequences. Health, Finance, Emotion, Strength, Relations and above all your own soul is fighting every single second. The pain becomes less and your inner-power becomes hundred times when you see the zeal of living each moment by the one who is bearing it.
Yes, you heard it right. My mom taught us how to live in the moment rather than worrying about the next moment. She lived each day with a smile and made it a point to fulfil all her wishes and tasks. “Task” what exactly do I mean by it? Our parents have some desires and wishes for their children. She actually used her time in creating small mementos for each one of us. While undergoing her last phases of Chemotherapy, radiation, and 2nd line treatment I had never seen giving up her fighting spirit. She fought like a warrior till her last breath. I still remember an incident she wanted to see me settle down in my life. For her it was to see me married, 2009 she lost her speech and was completely in bed with no movement. After showing her thumbs up sign for the boy she liked as if her 6th sense worked, I was engaged to him only. The very next day she was shifted to life support(ventilator). My conclusion on the entire thing was she was going to attain her moksha since she thought she had achieved everything. After making her fight further for a month she left us on 28th July 2009 and let me tell you why she fought for another month because she didn’t want her younger one to be alone on her birthday 26th July.
Her journey taught us to stand united as a family and smile through obstacles no matter how many thorns or blocks are present. Her smile was contagious, whoever knew her would know how a positive soul can heal the other one. Whenever our roads seem hard all, we remember now is how she fought like a warrior with her calmness and smile. Today we seem to lose our paths at times but what keeps us going is her passion to live each moment rather worrying about what shall happen next. Her words that still echo in my mind I know my due date shall come soon that means I know what I have to do in life. Who has seen tomorrow you may leave before me so rather focus now and enjoy it since his life is supposed to be meaningful not long?
Celebrating that my Mother is present in my life
Questions answered by Garima Jain, Paris France
Celebrate your mother – her strengths/personality/her impact on your life: I celebrate that she is still present in my life. I feel so thankful. The more I continue to age, the more I need her. I just cannot imagine a single day without talking to her. She has been a strong pillar to me. She reads me so well like nobody does. She has always been very strong and managed somehow to wear a smile so effortlessly. I still strive to be even half the way she is. She has such a good sense of humor which makes her so attractive and unique. She is the world to me.
One word/quality/character/idea that describes your mother! : Seeking.
One life-lesson learnt from your mother: Importance of saving money.
One unique/cute habit of your mom: That she is entertaining and always makes people laugh.
Her Favorites: My mother enjoys shopping given every occasion. I assume her current favorite color is green since her wardrobe is full of different shades of green stuff. She also likes to munch a lot on all sorts of homemade snacks.
Your one line thank you for her: Thank you mom for bringing me into this world and thank you for always being there for me.
How will you make Mother’s day amazing for her? If given an opportunity, I would definitely throw her a nice surprise party with her favorite ones and make her feel special in every way I can.
Celebrating that my Mother as one hell of a dedicated person
Questions answered by Amrita Choudhary, Munich, Germany
Celebrate your mother – her strengths/personality/her impact on your life: She is one hell lot of a dedicated person. She weathered difficult times with her persistence, hardwork and love. Just bringing up 6 of us was not her priority, rather her priority was to develop a cohort of very fine individuals who can take leaps in this world and make their own world beautiful. So, she chose to work hard and give us the best education. That’s a gift I cherish the most from her and actually, both my parents.
One word/quality/character/idea that describes your mother! Persistent
One life-lesson learnt from your mother: Keep going on… Never stop.
One unique/cute habit of your mom: She forgets many things… Right hand doesn’t remember where the left kept a thing… 😄..
Her Favorites: Oh man, she cooks and she does it awesomely.
Your one line thanks you for her: Love you alot mom, from the bottom of my heart and soul…
How will you make Mother’s Day amazing for her? Give her a big hug…
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Nilima Sil, Educator, NGO Professional, Foodie & Food Enthusiast, Traveler, Dance Enthusiast Sapporo, Japan |
