The Year We Stayed Home

This last year has been a difficult one in many ways. Even though we were lucky enough to escape mostly unharmed, it did bring about a lot of change in our lives. Despite all its difficulties, this year was a welcome break from the cycle of mindless action. It gave us all a time to pause and reflect. It was a time to separate the essentials from the non-essentials in every way.

The long break from school showed us what life could be if rigid structures were taken away. Especially the months before virtual schooling took over were a time of great exploration. With no imposition of going out to work or school or to socialize, we suddenly had the space to be anyone and do anything within our four walls. The only aim we had as parents was to make the best of this unusual time.

Life had become simple, meals became simpler, and expectations around housekeeping reduced. Everyone became tidier in their habits since they were the only ones responsible for cleaning their own spaces. We all worked together to keep our home and lives running smoothly – cooking our own food, and taking care of ourselves. Survival depended on keeping our mind and body healthy.

At our home, we provided a framework for the day, with fixed meal times and list of chores we all had to do. Other than that, the children had a lot of self-directed time. With more control over their own time, the children slept longer. In the absence of any other playmates, they formed deeper bonds with each other.

As the option of going out vanished, I felt more relaxed. I didn’t have to feel guilty about not taking the children out enough or making them do enough activity classes. For a homebound family like ours, it was a delightful time.

The children, mostly left alone, got a chance to explore what kind of routine worked for them and how they wanted to spend their time. They used online tutorials to learn stuff that they always wanted to learn. They learnt to cook and clean. They also learnt to handle more fear and anxiety than they had ever experienced before. They saw what it meant to lose one’s freedom and the value of many everyday things that they always took for granted. As they discovered how much they could lean on their parents in times of uncertainty, they also realized how much they loved and missed their grandparents, aunts and uncles. They have learnt, through first-hand experience, how to deal with change and with the bigger, harder stuff that is out of one’s control.

The children have now been home, away from school, for exactly one year. During this time, I relied on the one value that has shaped me – to make the best of whatever life brings. I am glad to see that some seeds of this value have surely been planted in my children this year.