The choices we make, make the life we live

These days, a common concern for parents is that our children cannot sit still. They seem over-energetic, very excitable, or get distracted too easily. Such behavior tends to worry us, and we try to find new ways of disciplining our children.

In my experience, a child’s behaviour has more to do with the environment we provide for them as parents, rather than something innate. Children observe grown-ups all the time, like our habit of rushing from one activity to another. Our children absorb how we take life in – not only physically, but also mentally – and merely imitate what they see us doing. Such behavior patterns flow from us to our children. They imbibe our behavior and habits for themselves. 

The world today is full of so many stimuli, to which we are constantly exposed. Our phones, which keep buzzing with notifications; Facebook, Instagram and Twitter constantly bombarding us with what to buy, or eat, or use, or even think. Amidst all this chaos, our minds rarely find peace. When are we ever still? Surrounded by the din of this modern world, if we cannot keep ourselves still, how then do we truly listen? How do we listen to what our children have to tell us, or to that deeper voice of our instinct which could actually guide us?

What if you could live without the intrusion of technology, and find the time and the space to listen – to really listen? What if we could create an environment that limits the exposure to unnecessary stimuli – for both, our children and ourselves? If we chose to keep the television switched on in the background for the greater part of the day, our children cannot be faulted for having excessive energy. It is our choice whether to stroll in a park, or to window-shop at a busy mall. It is easier to feed a picky eater in front of an I-pad playing videos, but it pays to read a book instead. After dinner, instead of watching a movie, try playing a board game together with the family.  You will find that can be more rewarding. Our choices will not only create more opportunities to strengthen familial bonds, but also take away a lot of the background noise. It will provide all of us – adults and children alike – with the time to enjoy some much-needed quietude. It is a great thing when children have a lot of energy, and this energy can push them to explore, to learn, and to grow. As parents, we make choices in order to provide the environment for our children’s development. We have to guide them about how they could use this energy in such a way that it doesn’t become a tantrum or create conflicts. Inculcating the habit of getting any form of some physical exercise, like taking a walk, playing a sport, going for a run, or cycling, cannot be stressed enough. Partaking in physical exercise of some form in the mornings could channelize energy and make for a much calmer day.

The effect of spending time in nature for both, children and adults, has proven to be very positive and calming.  Other activities, like cooking, gardening, reading an old favourite, or discovering new music together, could become, in equal parts, enjoyable as well as calming, and can be done with children of any age group. These activities are a great way to spend quality time with a child as well as bring some stillness into our busy lives. A change in how we choose to spend our time will surely bring a change in our children.